I once used the word “bored” in therapy and my therapist suggested “sometimes when we feel bored it means there is something we don’t want to look at.” So I tried that on- whenever I felt bored I would ask myself “is there something I would rather not look at behind the boredom?” I began to notice that often this was true- that if I took a moment to sink down into myself, a feeling, a memory would arise that invited a deeper look. It might be challenging to explore more deeply, but at least it wasn’t boring!
I tried this with people- when I found someone boring to listen to, I would try to listen more deeply, and sometimes it worked! A fascinated audience does sometimes bring out a more interesting conversation. Often when it doesn’t work it’s because the person who is speaking is bored with what they are saying- they are not engaging deeply with what they are saying and so it is boring no matter how hard I listen.
Sometimes when I’m bored these days, it’s a sign pointing me towards unused energy and creativity. This often happens on a Saturday afternoon after a long work week. My partner and I are recent empty nesters, and the shock of having a few hours to do whatever I want is still novel. I find I just have to be bored for a while before some inspiration strikes me- a new dish to cook, an adventure to plan. Often if I simply settle in on my porch, resigned to boredom, some fascinating new bird will come to my bird feeder, and I am bored no longer.
Another pattern I’ve noticed is that I often feel bored during transitions- some part of me is arriving somewhere new, and I am bored as I wait for the rest of myself to arrive. When I go on retreat without my phone or computer there is invariably a time of acute boredom at the beginning of the retreat as I settle in. After months of wishing I had my full time and attention to give to Spirit, having no other demands pulling at me feels a bit unsettling, boring even. But as I settle into this more spacious way of being ideas, feelings, inspirations invariable flow in to fill the space.
Often there is another patch of boredom at the end of a retreat day, when I have already prayed and read and walked and there is literally nothing left to do. I feel guilty that I SHOULD be doing something with this precious retreat time, but eventually remember that the spiritual life is not really about doing anything. The things we do are just touchstones, guides on the journey. When I am finally empty of worries, feelings, curiosities and am just empty and still, it is a moment I often recall later with wonder when I am back in my regular life- “how could I ever have been so empty? So Still? With no needs or wants, just being?”
In the coming month I invite you to notice boredom when it arises and consider it as an invitation. Where might the feeling of boredom be inviting us? Is it inviting us to listen or look more deeply at what we are experiencing? Is it inviting us to notice that this experience no longer serves us and it’s time to walk away? Is it the seed of some creative new project waiting to be born? Is it time to listen for the slow quiet speech of the spirit? Or is it simply inviting us to be grateful for the spaciousness of a quiet empty moment? This month let boredom be like a meditation bell calling you to notice what is really there.
