An article on parenting appeared in my Facebook feed encouraging us to demonstrate gratitude to our children, but to be careful only to show gratitude for extraordinary things they do, lest they grow up thinking that, for example, making their beds is anything other than on ordinary part of life.
Of course I immediately began to question myself-- I thank my son all the time, and he thanks us too: “thanks for making dinner mom” or “thanks for the clean laundry.” Is he ruined for life, I wondered? So I began to ask myself, why do I thank him every day for doing very ordinary things? The same reason I thank the cashier at the grocery store for ringing me up, my waiter for clearing my dirty dishes, or my yoga teacher for each class. My life is better because these people do the jobs they do. When yoga is canceled, I am disappointed and my whole day is less joyful. When I walk up to the front register and no one is there to help me, I feel frustrated and I resent time standing there waiting for someone to notice me. I operate from a core believe that being grateful for very ordinary things reminds us of our many blessings.
I am grateful for clean water to drink
I am grateful that I have a job
I am grateful for a safe place to sleep at night
For those of us who have toes that move, Buddhist monk Tich Nhat Hanh encourages us to be grateful each morning in the shower for our toes-- to consider that not everyone has toes, that some folks have toes that can’t wiggle.
Come to think if it, what is not extraordinary about having toes? Consider the complex interaction of muscle, bone and nerve. What’s not extraordinary about being able to go into a grocery store and know there will be food there every day? What is not extraordinary about having a child who makes his own breakfast and gets himself ready for school? And isn’t this why we are encouraged to say grace as we sit down to eat each meal -- to remember that we cannot take for granted the privilege of each bite we eat?
A number of scientific studies have shown that feeling gratitude is actually one of the most healthy things we can feel- it’s benefits are not only emotional and mental, but also physical. The religions of the world also suggest that Gratitude is an important spiritual practice as well; perhaps we are more open to the divine if we notice the gifts all around us every day, instead of waiting for something extraordinary. As the endless mountains come alive again this spring I am reminded of these words by the great American poet e.e. cummings…
“i thank You God for most this amazingWhen our hearts sing with the blessings all around us, we recognize the truth that all life is a gift for which we can be grateful-- body, mind and spirit.
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes”
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