A Well Worn Path

There’s a little strip at the back of my garden where nothing will grow. I’ve planted all different kinds of things, each year crossing my fingers, but that little strip stays bare. After years of trial and error, I was starting out the window and noticed a cat walking along that narrow strip. Soon after, I realized my dog was also walking that path as part of his morning rounds, and later found evidence of a groundhog. The problem wasn’t the soil or the sun, but simply that seedlings don’t do well in the middle of a critter highway.

Over the years I’ve seen my little dog walk the perimeter of the garden even in a foot of snow. That’s his path. It’s comfortable to him. It takes quite an obstacle to nudge him off his path. (I finally gave up and put down paving stones.) Watch the animals in your neighborhood and you will notice they have paths they love to follow day after day. Humans are no different. We love our well-trod paths.

In the same way that my dog likes his morning perimeter walk, and much as I take the same route to work most days, the heart, mind and spirit also develop some well-worn paths. Many of these paths develop early in life because they help us navigate the complexities of our own unique family and the challenges we have faced. These patterns are so natural and invisible to us that we don’t even notice them until someone plants some Loosestrife in our path. There are lots of words for these patterns; some folks call it “conditioning,” in the Hindu and Buddhist traditionsit is often called “Samskara” or we can just call it a rut.

Part of the spiritual path is becoming conscious of the choices we make habitually, noticing the patterns, and noticing when we are making choices that reinforce those habits. The “aha” of noticing our patterns is not necessarily followed by the ability to choose a new path. Those old patterns are powerful, and we flow naturally into them like a creek in its bed. Whenever we notice one of those old, powerful patterns, it’s best to treat them with compassion. For example, if your family of origin discouraged the outward expression of emotion, and you grew up stoic to fit in and please your family, give yourself credit for finding a path that worked. Now that you are older and wiser, you have the capacity to ask “does that path still serve me? Or would I like to choose a different path?”

If you decided a new path would suit you better, again begin with compassion. Those old paths have power. Think about the last time you were stuck in the mud. When we first realize we are stuck, we usually back up, and then try again. We may drive back and forth trying to gain ground and instead create a deeper and more slippery rut for ourselves. It is finally when we turn the wheel to angle up over the ridge of our rut that we are able to break free.

As part of your spiritual practice, I invite you to look for well-worn paths you tend to follow. Be curious about where they came from, and consider whether each pattern still serves you. If you decide to make a change, I encourage you to be curious, playful, and compassionate as you look for a new way. It may require coming at things from a new angle to reach fresh ground. And if you get stuck, remember to ask for help. Sometimes a new angle and a helping hand is all we need to get out of our rut.